As the eldest child there are naturally recompenses and pitfalls. While in one hand, the mistakes and shortcomings I may have had came with swifter and harsher chastening, the other hand supplied me with the first tastes of freedom and responsibility. Experiences that my sisters at the time could only dream of. While maneuvering through childhood and being handed more and more libations of freedom I quite frequently heard my sisters mutter, whimper, or sometimes cry out, “That’s not fair”. A lot of the time we are emotionally charged. This intrinsic reaction to strike balance in the universe so that all is right in the mind and spirit. Or so we like to think.
The seventh principle in Dr. Henry Cloud’s book is Don’t Play Fair. A chapter title worth taking pause, especially for a Christian. His main point however was to point out a simple truth about life. It isn’t fair. We have heard these words said many times, and to use my childhood as the example, we have heard them from our parents. When Dr. Cloud talks about not playing fair he is not referring to cheating, stealing, lying, or deceiving. He puts forward another instinct we humans have which actually is the horse that pulls most of the actions mentioned forward. This is the need to get revenge or get even. We take it upon ourselves to “set the score”. Bring balance to what we believe is fair and right.
How many movies have we seen where this is the outline? Even to the point of taking the law into ones own hands. This inclination is so strong in us that we praise the outlaw, the rebel, the punisher, the Batman, and any figure that goes about making things right no matter what the cost. There is however a big difference between what I and Dr. Cloud are talking about and justice. Scripture is clear on fighting injustice and standing up for the oppressed. Jesus is very clear on this in his teachings as well as his life lived. Fairness and unfairness are much more objective. It is a slippery slope believing I know exactly what is fair and unfair, especially when it pertains to me.
This is why I propose that this idea of fair and unfair go hand in hand with more intrinsic feelings. Comfort and discomfort. Jesus was criticized (and ultimately killed) because he himself criticized the status quo. His Sermon on the Mount both wowed and stymied his listeners because they were hearing things with authority and conviction they have never heard before. A portion of this was a reversed characteristic of getting revenge, payback, and hating your enemies. I am going to wrestle through this idea of fairness and comfortability and why it can stifle our growth.
What if?
When reading Matthew 5:38-48 (or all the Sermon on the Mount for that matter) sometimes we walk away with more questions than answers. Questions about who our enemies are, who an evil person is, what turning the other cheek looks like, and what being perfect looks like. All of which are what makes Jesus the most brilliant teacher to walk the face of the earth. He taught us to constantly ask these questions that will constantly morph, change, and come to life the longer we breath his air.
Questions I found myself asking were a rabbit hole of hypotheticals. I naturally try to prepare myself for every circumstance. I will have fake discussions in my head just to prepare myself for them (You may be surprised to hear they almost never really happen). This can be unhealthy and I am working on it. I did find myself thinking through Christ’s words and thinking of specific situations that might play out. Is this resisting an evil person? Is this turning the other cheek? Is this loving my enemies? What I came to discover is this need to figure these things out stemmed from this need for comfort. I needed to know because I didn’t want to be caught off guard. I didn’t want to find myself in a situation where I was saying, “This isn’t fair”.
When Christ says, "You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’But I tell you, do not resist an evil person.” He is not correcting scripture, he is correcting how the scripture was being perceived. This is a quote from Exodus 21:24. The context of the Mosaic law was describing civic duties of the nation. The pharisees at the time had manipulated this text to prescribe it to peoples personal lives and relationships. So when Jesus says to not resist the evil person, he is inquiring that people do not pursue personal revenge.
This plays into turning the other cheek, being sued, and going an extra mile. In all these things do not pursue pay back or revenge because of a self diagnosed hankering for fairness. Now these words of Jesus in turn separate getting back at someone for a personal need for fairness and justice. The Exodus context dealt with justice. Jesus dealt with justice. The Pharisees dealt with personal vendettas and self-righteousness. Which I would argue self-righteousness plays well into our fight for comfort.
So this requirement I have to ask the “what if” questions draws me right back to the center of Christ’s teaching. I have this desire for fairness which scratches my desire to be comfortable. While Christ teaches that in our pursuit of comfort we actually miss the reward. We miss opportunities not only to grow, but to shine more like Jesus in the world.
I think it is necessary to single out Christ’s words of being compelled to go two miles rather than just one. At that time, Judea was occupied by the unyielding force of the Roman Empire. It was common that a Roman soldier would command a jewish citizen to help carry the soldiers pack. This was required of the jewish citizen by law. If they denied, it could mean jail. So, jews would do it, but begrudgingly and bitterly. Christ however, is flipping the script saying not only should you do what is asked of you, but go above and beyond. Not out of spite, but our of love. This blows the concept of fair and unfair out of the water. But that is in fact what the Gospel does.
Perfect Practice
When I played baseball, I had a coach that loved to quote Vince Lombardi saying, “Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.” This quote has always stuck with me for a number of reasons. One of which is that even when I was a young adolescent I wasn’t sure I agreed with the quote. How can you measure what a perfect practice is? Especially when you are practicing something you yourself are not an expert in. Secondly, now as a (relatively) mature adult I have come to the conclusion that only God is perfect and unfaltering. Unmoving and unchanging.
Thus Christ’s final words of the chapter, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect”, seems like a mountain too steep to climb. Early in Christ’s sermon he tells that if ones righteousness does not surpass that of the pharisees then the kingdom of heaven will not be opened to them. So what hope is there? Is this, like my baseball coach’s claim, a call to not only a perfect performance but perfect practice?
For many religious sects and zealots there is a call to perfect performance. But to interpret it that way would be to miss the heart of God entirely. Christ is and always will be the fulfillment of the Law. As we see here, he is quoting it as well as teaching its true purpose and meaning. The Law itself is perfect because God created it. However, what was the Laws true purpose? To expose our sinfulness. Both conscious and unconscious (Romans 3).
The pharisees, in all their knowledge, missed the purpose behind the Law and therefore Christ’s means of fulfilling it. The Law exposed sin and condemned it. Which you, I, and no other human could fulfill it, because our sin would always be pried out of us and displayed before men and God. Christ knew no sin, but he displayed his righteousness before men and God and on the cross starved sin of its cyclical power (2 Corinthians 5:21).
Through Christ, the Law no longer condemns us because it has been fulfilled. However, there is still the ringing call to perfection as well as practice. This perfection and practice is reversed engineered into the hearts of men and women. We do not practice the ways of Jesus to become perfect, we practice from perfection. We now know more than what the pharisees did. Christ being God, perfected the Law and fulfilled it perfectly, so he could free us from the power of sin and death.
To practice the ways of Jesus is to be perfect. Does this mean we will always do it perfectly? Absolutely not. But Christ sums it up this way, “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?” (46). Practicing the ways of Jesus (turn the other cheek, walking two miles, love your neighbor, etc.) comes with its rewards. That is to become more like Jesus. The author of life itself. The Teacher of what a flourishing life looks like.
To the world, and sometimes to christians themselves, this does not look fair. It certainly isn’t comfortable. Everything Christ says in verses 38-48 is a sacrifice, or more simply put, an inconvenience. But to be perfect, in every sense of our identity, is to take the unfairness of the world and use its momentum against it. To crawl through the mire hand in hand with your enemies when the world tells you to abandon them. That is perfect. That is the Gospel.
Closing Thoughts On Fairness And Comfort
The scandalous message of the Gospel is what separates its power from all other religions. God, the Almighty, the Ancient One, the Creator, willingly chose ridicule, suffering, and death. When all other breathing things deserved it. Was it out of comfort or fairness? No. But out of love. The truth is love is not fair. Love is not comfortable. Love draws out the things we hate most about ourselves. Love forces us to sacrifice our most selfish possessions on the altar. Love allows us choose to be faithful in a covenant relationship.
So when Christ was separated from the Father completely while hanging on the cross was it out of fairness? Or was it out of an internal pursuit and promise that he will love us and never forsake us? As recipients of this love and mercy we are to be the wise builders. Who not only hear Christ’s words but put them into practice.
The words of Jesus are the only way to fight the need to be comfortable and fair. If God only operated within what was comfortable and fair our fate would only end in destruction. But we are called to love like Him and live like Him. Which breaks down all walls and hedges. What reward is in living for comfort? When perfection lays beyond borders yet discovered.
References:
Cloud, Henry. (2004). ‘9 Things You Simply Must Do: To Succeed In Love And Life’. MJF Books.
Matthew 5:38-48; Exodus 21:24; Romans 3; 2 Corinthians 5:21